We knew that motherhood requires changing diapers, kissing “ouchies” and doing whatever we possible can to care for our kids. We only saw the broad picture of motherhood. It’s only now being in the depths of motherhood do we truly see a different view.
Motherhood involves a lot more heart and soul than I pictured. While I was pregnant with my first child I knew that there was going to be so much love that I would have. I didn’t realize how intense of a love it would be. I think the idea that I had of motherhood was just a glimmer and now that I’m starting to get deeper into motherhood, I’ve realized that there is so much love, patience, dedication in it. I never
imagined how much I would still be able to grow as a person after becoming a mother. My children teach me new things about myself almost every day.
Mama guilt. I think it’s fair to say that any mama has felt some type of guilt. We’re pulled in so many directions. However often we’re going back and forth between doing whatever we possibly can for our children to trying to have our own sense of identity besides the title of Mom/Ma/Mama.
This is something I’m still trying to figure out and learning to not hold on to. I sometimes see the mama guilt as an extension of the love I feel for my kids. I love them so much that more often than not I put them first. I remind myself that in order to be the best possible mama for my children I need to take care of myself too. Remembering that there needs to be a balance of Mama, wife, and self time is necessary.
This has been incredibly crucial for me while dealing with PPD. I often hate taking time away from my kids to focus on therapy. At the same time I know that this is what I need to do not only for myself but my boys too. I only have a few years under my belt as a Mama, so I feel like I’m just beginning still trying to get my bearings on things.
Sometimes not everything gets done like the chores. I’ve learned that it’s okay. Sometimes I feel unhappy with how I could change how I handled something months before. I’ve learned that motherhood is a learning process and it’s okay. Sometimes I feel bad for wanting time to myself away from the kids. I’ve learned, this is more than okay and is necessary.
This is especially tough for me at the moment since I’ve only recently entered the realm of meltdowns and tantrums with O. I acknowledge that he his having whatever emotion and take a deep breath (i.e. “I know you’re angry…” or “I know you’re sad…”). I try my best to work through the emotion with him. For me, i want him to understand that it’s okay to be mad, angry, or frustrated but that there are different ways to communicate each emotion without screaming like there’s no tomorrow in the cereal aisle. Being able to talk it through actually manages to keep me calm during the whole process.
It is INDEED a process. In all honesty, this isn’t a full proof system. I have moments where I’m struggle with keeping it cool. That’s where the “mom look” comes in. You know, that stern look you give that means “Stop it right now. I mean business!” More often than not, it works and that in itself makes O check himself. Sometimes I even get a “I sowwie mama.”
“Welcome to Mighty Mamas, an ongoing series where mamas share their candid and raw thoughts on motherhood. Our intention is to create a supportive forum for sharing without judgment. Mamas are so mighty and we are using that strength to build a powerful group of wonderful women who believe in motherhood.”
I’m excited to be a part of this next series of Mighty Mamas! Head on over to the Little & Mighty blog to read more about myself and the 9 other Mamas in the series. While you’re there, check out the Little & Mighty apparel too!