Hey you, enjoy your motherhood.

My Motherhood {enjoymamahood}

There honestly is nothing like being a mother.  The motherhood journey is forever excited, filled with a lot of smiles and laughs.  It can also be filled with tears, headaches, and a lot of self-doubt.

You often find yourself the first one up even though you were the last to go to bed.  Your mind is screaming both “5 more minutes” and “Get up, this is your only ‘me’ time.”  You do your best to quietly get out of bed and try to slowly open the door to your children’s room(s) to make sure they’re sound asleep.  A sigh of relief escapes your lips to see that not only are they still asleep but their littles chests are slowly rising in their deep sleep.  You fuel up with coffee and try to eat some breakfast only to be greeted with bright-eyed kids.

Your ears ring with toddler tantrums, baby cries, and sibling arguments.  Everyone else has full bellies with milk or snacks and clean outfits.  However, you’re often still in pajamas, your hair hasn’t been washed in a few days, and your stomach is eating itself from hunger.  When you think you are about to get a moment to yourself, you see Cheerios scattered across the floor, marker scribbles on the wall, or one of your kids is waking from a nap.

Your body aches, your head is pounding, yet there is something that just keeps pushing you to keep going.  Your children may yes the last ounce of patience you have in you but you love them.  You have this love that is so fierce.  There is a sense to try and protect them as best as you can, nurture them with all your love, and open their eyes and minds to the world around them.  You then wake up and do it all over again.

Sometimes you do so with a full-time job or a part-time job.  You try your best not to think of the precious moments you may be missing.  Often the thing that gets you through the work day is the warm little hug your children will give you.  Sometimes it’s the smile of happiness that you see when you walk in the door that keeps you going although you are so very tired.

Hey you, enjoy your motherhood.  It isn’t easy and sometimes it isn’t pretty, I know.  Those sweet kisses, tight hugs, and giggles of delight you get make it so worth it.  Your children love you through it all, unwashed hair and tired eyes, just as you love them no matter what.  A mother sees their child with so much love and a child sees their mother as their very own superhero, don’t you forget it. 

Am I ready for child # 2?

My husband and I had touched on the subject of how soon we wanted to have another child after our first was born.  It seems like, once you get married, one of the first questions asked is, “When are you planning on having kids?”  Almost immediately after the first, we got asked, “So, baby number 2 now?”

While we were pregnant with our first child we briefly discussed it.  I knew that I wanted to just enjoy THAT moment, the first child.   For our family, we knew that if we could help it, we wanted our children close to age.

Fast forward to now, I can’t help but feel like we’re cheating our son out.   It’s hard not to think: “Did we take him out enough?” or “Are we cheating him out of being an only child?” and “Should we have waited a little longer?”

After the whirlwind of thoughts and self-doubts, it just clicked.

This is a blessing.  Not everyone is able to get pregnant.  Why. Am. I. Complaining?

So does this answer, am I ready for baby number 2?  The answer is no.  However, I wasn’t ready for our first child.  Although he has had a number of bumps and bruises, I think we have done fairly well as parents.  Ultimately, I don’t think any parent can be fully prepared for their first child or subsequent children.  This is where the doubts come to play and start running around in your head like a never-ending song.

I do feel like we can take what we have learned from our first child thus far and use it when our second child arrives.  This second pregnancy is already completely different from the first.  It’s only safe to say our next child may just have a different personality than our first.  I’m nervous still but excited to see what baby number 2 will bring to our family dynamic.