Hey, little brother.

little brother, brother, second cihild, baby
Hey there little brother.  I know life can be tough when all you want to do is follow your older brother around.  Except being the little brother isn’t all THAT bad.

It must be hard to be a little brother.  Especially since you’re not quite mobile.  You can’t figure out why your legs can’t move as fast as your older brother.  You may not even realize you have legs yet.  You try your best to follow his movements but often get dizzy just watching him run around.  Older brother gets to play with Daddy.  They wrestle, chase after each other, and Daddy throws him in the air and you hear the delight in his voice.  All you can do is jump excitedly in your jumper as you watch but it doesn’t seem to have the same effect.

Your naps get cut short by your older brother’s tantrums and all you can do is stare wide-eyed.  You may finally be drifting back to sleep when you hear him playing pirates and yelling “ARRRRGH!”  You usually get your best naps while in a carrier or wrap strapped onto Mama like a little koala.  Except even then you’re not safe.  Older brother often tries to climb on Mama and ends up elbowing you in the head during the process.

Most of your clothes and toys are hand-me-downs too.  Your older brother received so many clothes that you didn’t really get too many new things.  From pajamas right down to the socks, you’re sporting pre-loved older brother wear.  You do get some new toys, but he usually gets to them first.  Even his old toys, he often has a hard time letting them go.  You usually stare confused as to how the toy that was just in your tiny grasp has suddenly disappeared.  When you look up, you see your older brother giggling with the toy in his hands.

Being the little brother can’t be easy, I know.   It can’t be all that bad right?  You not only have a Mama and a Daddy to love you but an older brother too.  An older brother that does his best to figure out why you’re crying.  He often starts crying himself because he can’t figure out why you’re unhappy.    Big brother probably won’t admit this but you’re the first person he looks for when he wakes in the morning and from his naps. You have an older brother who loves to give you good-night kisses before he goes to bed.  Being the younger brother and the newest member of the family means you get most of the visitors.  The grandparents hold you a little longer while your older brother stands by semi-confused as to why he isn’t the center of attention anymore.  Mama spends more time with you because she knows you still need help with many more things than older brother.

Being the little brother can’t be easy, I know.  Being the older brother isn’t too.  Just remember that Mama and Daddy love you so.  Big brother? Well, he may not admit it, even more so when you guys are older, but he’s glad you’re part of our family. Big brother loves you so. 

Am I ready for child # 2?

My husband and I had touched on the subject of how soon we wanted to have another child after our first was born.  It seems like, once you get married, one of the first questions asked is, “When are you planning on having kids?”  Almost immediately after the first, we got asked, “So, baby number 2 now?”

While we were pregnant with our first child we briefly discussed it.  I knew that I wanted to just enjoy THAT moment, the first child.   For our family, we knew that if we could help it, we wanted our children close to age.

Fast forward to now, I can’t help but feel like we’re cheating our son out.   It’s hard not to think: “Did we take him out enough?” or “Are we cheating him out of being an only child?” and “Should we have waited a little longer?”

After the whirlwind of thoughts and self-doubts, it just clicked.

This is a blessing.  Not everyone is able to get pregnant.  Why. Am. I. Complaining?

So does this answer, am I ready for baby number 2?  The answer is no.  However, I wasn’t ready for our first child.  Although he has had a number of bumps and bruises, I think we have done fairly well as parents.  Ultimately, I don’t think any parent can be fully prepared for their first child or subsequent children.  This is where the doubts come to play and start running around in your head like a never-ending song.

I do feel like we can take what we have learned from our first child thus far and use it when our second child arrives.  This second pregnancy is already completely different from the first.  It’s only safe to say our next child may just have a different personality than our first.  I’m nervous still but excited to see what baby number 2 will bring to our family dynamic.