This whole school thing, it was definitely a lot easier with just one child. It did have not so great moments when it was only O. I would have nights where he would not fall asleep unless I was holding him. He would be asleep in my lap and I would be balancing my laptop on my knees trying to write a paper. Now O sleeps through the night. W on the other hand, well my breastfeeding journey with him also includes nights where I have to read chapters, write discussion posts, or work on papers. I do get to have some time to myself when he relents and falls back asleep. Right now, time for myself, well it’s barely there. Even while I’m typing this out, W is in the same wrap and I’m standing and rocking him while batting away O’s hands as he tries to touch the keys. That’s mom life for you I suppose. It’s just hard not to think I am a little crazy to keep up with everything. I’m still getting use to having two kids. I need to figure out how to balance the kids, work, school, wife duties, and a social life.
I don’t regret my decision about going back to school. As much as I am doing this for myself, I am doing this for my family. Of course I want to be working in a field I like and extra money is great now that we have another tiny human to care for. Overall, I want to show my children that you don’t have to settle. If you are unhappy, there is a solution. The solution may not always be simple but it is there. I want them to learn to not be afraid of taking risks in life. If they appreciate and feel proud of all this, that would just make it even worth so much more.