At A Standstill


This is how I feel life has been like now that there are two kids in the picture. Life is still moving, things have become a blur but we’re trying to laugh as much as we can.

This postpartum has been a little different from my first.  Not only do I have another kid that is running around but I feel that my priorities have changed yet again.  Now that I know the signs and symptoms of postpartum depression, I’ve been watching myself closely.  In the same sense I have been trying to make a point of enjoying each moment.

One change this time around, for me, was making a point of reaching out for help.  Mostly through forums, Instagram accounts by searching through hashtags, and working closely with my OB/GYN and Primary Care doctor.  Knowing that I am not alone and that there are other Mothers that are also trying to get that balance.  With my first pregnancy, postpartum I felt so alone.  I felt like I could not get anyone to understand.  When I finally met with my primary care doctor and she gently explained it, I felt so much relief.

Getting out of the house and going anywhere, even if it’s to get coffee, is a big accomplishment. Gone are the days where I had the need to put on make up and find an outfit.  If I can get my hair tied up and muster up the courage to haul the kids into the car is enough for me even if I’m wearing leopard pajama bottoms, a nursing tank, and a cardigan with spit-up stains.

This to me is real motherhood (at least with a newborn and toddler). Hours to get out of the house because while you’re getting ready one of your kids spilled milk on the sofa.  One of your kids is refusing to wear pants.  Your youngest wants to nurse so there is no way you’re making the party at the time you told your friends.  Motherhood is never at a standstill, there are so many moving parts.  Things are left undone, halfway done, and sometime forgotten.

At the end of the day, as much as I hate thinking about the things I didn’t get done, being able to cuddle with my littles makes me the happiest.  Steadily trying to conquer postpartum.