This is how most of my nights look like: trying my best to set down a drowsy baby so I can attempt to clean or better yet schoolwork. My decision to go back to school to pursue another degree was about three months prior to finding out I was pregnant again.
Being pregnant and going to school was not part of the plan. I was just starting to figure out how to juggle work life, motherhood, wife duties, and school when I found out I was pregnant with W. It’s hard to take make time for schoolwork. I want to be there for my kids. At the same time, I know finishing this degree means more opportunities. I guess I just hope I’m doing this right, being a mother I mean.
Sometimes I feel like I’m not doing enough. Other times I feel insistent over something due to having “that gut feeling.” So far “that gut feeling” hasn’t failed me. Other mothers make it look so easy especially on Instagram. Now I know that in itself should not be an indicator of whether or not is a someone a good-anything and those photos are often staged. It’s hard not to feel somewhat discouraged when you have Cheerios stuck on your pants, spit up on your shirt and a crying toddler to tend to.
All I know is that I’m doing the best I can. Motherhood is hard work. I’m also trying to do what I can to provide for my kids. I just hope I’m doing this right.