Motherhood, not as pictured / Mighty Mamas – Week 3

We all had an idea of how motherhood would be like pre-kids. How has your view changed since then?
We all had an idea of how motherhood would be like pre-kids. How has your view changed since then?

We knew that motherhood requires changing diapers, kissing “ouchies” and doing whatever we possible can to care for our kids.  We only saw the broad picture of motherhood.  It’s only now being in the depths of motherhood do we truly see a different view.

Image from littleandmighty.com
Image from littleandmighty.com

This week the Mighty Mamas were asked: How is motherhood different than you pictured?

Motherhood involves a lot more heart and soul than I pictured.  While I was pregnant with my first child I knew that there was going to be so much love that I would have. I didn’t realize how intense of a love it would be.  I think the idea that I had of motherhood was just a glimmer and now that I’m starting to get deeper into motherhood, I’ve realized that there is so much love, patience, dedication in it.  I never
imagined how much I would still be able to grow as a person after becoming a mother.  My children teach me new things about myself almost every day.

I’ve learned to find beauty in motherhood and myself.  I’ve learned that laughing at myself occurs more than I thought.  I also learned that motherhood, especially postpartum, isn’t the same for everyone.

There are darker sides to motherhood, ones that are often not talked about, moments that need to be brought into the light.  PPD is something that is only touched on during pregnancy and something I definitely did not picture at all when I was thinking of motherhood before my kids.  Motherhood has definitely shown me that it is okay to reach out and ask for help.

I definitely never thought that I would find so much strength in motherhood nor did I imagine I would be drinking so much coffee!

How is motherhood different than you pictured?

Be sure to check out what the other Mighty Mamas have to say on the Little & Mighty blog and share your thoughts there too!

signed, dee

Motherhood From Afar.

Motherhood from Afar
I’m starting to try to do “motherhood from afar” meaning I’m close by but giving my son a chance to experience things on his own.

We were recently at the park after almost a week of being stuck indoors.  The weather has been gloomy and cold so we’ve been indoors.  Once I saw that the sun was trying to make its way through the clouds, I scooped the kids up and took them to the park.

double stroller strolls

As I was settling W on a blanket I had placed on the grass, O began tugging on my arm to walk around and search for pinecones.  I don’t know what it is about pinecones but he loves to examine and collect them.  With O getting older, I’m starting to notice that he is much more independent and beginning to want to explore on his own.  I’ve realized that I like encouraging him to try things on his own too.  It could be a combination of the fact that W has the majority of my attention nowadays as he is much more mobile.  I quickly looked around and realized that we were the only people at the park, so I smiled at him reassuringly, and told him to go ahead to search for pinecones.

I was still smiling to myself as I watched him slowly make his way towards were most of the pinecones seem to be.  He looked back and I once again reassured him that it was okay to go on his own.  After he found the pinecones, he was smiling to himself as he gathered them, calling back to me from time to time.

Running back with the pinecones he gathered, he was laughing gleefully to himself, and calling out “Mama, mama, look!”  I could see the happiness and look of accomplishment all over his face.  He was so proud that he gathered them himself and even more so happy that I was smiling back at him.

I definitely don’t know if I’m doing this motherhood or parenthood thing right.  I have moments where I want to hurriedly help him but hold myself back to watch him figure things out on his own.  I’ve been trying to make sure that he understands that I’m still nearby to help him but that he can try to do certain things on his own.

I know that in the future, holding myself back will be more difficult.  The situations and experiences he’ll be facing may not be full of happy moments.  I’m scared of the experiences he will face that will give him the feeling of disappointment, the feeling of loss, helplessness, and maybe anger.  I know those types of experiences will teach him such valuable lessons but it doesn’t make it easier for me.  One of the things I can do, even starting now, is to show him that no matter what I will be there for him.  Happy, sad, or disappointing time in his life – I will be there for him.  I may be doing motherhood from afar at times but I’m always ready to celebrate with him when he accomplishes something or open my arms wide to comfort him during the harder times.

signed, dee

Keeping Mama Guilt in Check / Mighty Mamas – Week 2

Keeping Mama Guilt in Check

Mama guilt.  I think it’s fair to say that any mama has felt some type of guilt.  We’re pulled in so many directions.  However often we’re going back and forth between doing whatever we possibly can for our children to trying to have our own sense of identity besides the title of Mom/Ma/Mama.

Image from littleandmighty.com
Image from littleandmighty.com

This week the Mighty Mamas were asked: How do you deal with or keep mama guilt in check? 

 

This is something I’m still trying to figure out and learning to not hold on to. I sometimes see the mama guilt as an extension of the love I feel for my kids. I love them so much that more often than not I put them first. I remind myself that in order to be the best possible mama for my children I need to take care of myself too. Remembering that there needs to be a balance of Mama, wife, and self time is necessary.

This has been incredibly crucial for me while dealing with PPD.  I often hate taking time away from my kids to focus on therapy.  At the same time I know that this is what I need to do not only for myself but my boys too.  I only have a few years under my belt as a Mama, so I feel like I’m just beginning still trying to get my bearings on things.

Sometimes not everything gets done like the chores.  I’ve learned that it’s okay.  Sometimes I feel unhappy with how I could change how I handled something months before.  I’ve learned that motherhood is a learning process and it’s okay.  Sometimes I feel bad for wanting time to myself away from the kids.  I’ve learned, this is more than okay and is necessary.

How do you try to keep the mama guilt in check?

Be sure to check out what the other Mighty Mamas have to say on the Little & Mighty blog and share your thoughts there too!

signed, dee

Liebster Award

Liebster Award

I was nominated by JeeYoung from simplyeveryblog and Sarah from momfactsandfood. Thank you both for nominating me! I love that Instagram has given me the ability to connect with both of you.  I absolutely love JeeYoung’s outfit posts and her boys are so adorable!  SI decided to combine the questions asked in one post.


In the blogging world, the Liebster award is an online recognition given to new bloggers by fellow bloggers for enjoying and valuing their work. It is meant to highlight and credit new up and coming blogs within our writing community.

The rules are as follows:

  • Thank the blog that nominated you and link back to them.
  • Answer 11 questions from the blogger that nominated you.
  • Tell readers 11 random facts about yourself.
  • Nominate up to 11 bloggers to receive the award next.
  • Give your new nominees questions to answer about themselves when they post their nomination.

My 11 random facts:

  • I can’t say the word shoulder.  I pronounce it as “soldier.”  If I do have to say shoulder, I have to repeat it a couple of times in my head first.
  • When I was a kid my dream job was to be a paleontologist.  I loved the idea of traveling and uncovering fossils.  Then Jurassic Park came out and I changed my mind.
  • There was a brief period during my childhood where I knew how to speak Russian.  My dad loves learning different languages and was learning Russian.  I would help him practice and learned basic phrases.
  • My parents operated a foster home for most of my adolescent life. The kids that were placed in my parents’ foster home inspired me to become invested in charities/activities involving foster care and adoption.
  • I’m a strict advocate of not allowing drunk people to get behind the wheel.  My uncle on my mother’s side was killed by a drunk driver who was driving the wrong direction.  I just remember our entire family in the hospital waiting room and the pain in my mother’s, aunt’s and grandmother’s faces.
  • I’m an NFL fan.  I love football season and can get competitive when it comes to Fantasy Football.
  • I ended up taking a year and a half off between graduating high school and college to figure out what I wanted to do.
  • I’m picky about frosting on cakes.  It can’t be too sweet or too thick.  If it is, I’ll scrape it off!
  • The night before my first son was born I had a dream that my water broke and  I went into labor. I woke up slightly disappointed. The next night I had the same dream, woke up, thought I was dreaming still, walked into the bathroom to discover it was the real deal!
  • November and December are my favorite times of the year because of all the holidays that bring my family together.  I have a lot of good childhood memories from that time of year too!

JeeYoung’s questions:

  1. If you could eat anything right now at this very moment, what would it be?
    Eggs florentine.  I’m a sucker for a good egg breakfast and a hollandaise.
  2. What do you like blogging about the most?
    I love that it’s so therapeutic especially since I’m battling PPD.  It’s nice to be able to collect my thoughts and put them in one place.
  3. Would you want to be famous, if so, in what way?
    I wouldn’t want to be famous.  I feel like there is so much pressure associated with being famous.  Plus I feel like I’m too awkward to be famous.
  4. When is the last time you sang out loud? What song?
    Yesterday with my son in the car.  This is a miracle considering most of the time it causes him more grief.
  5. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
    To have such caring people in my life.  My husband does whatever he can to support me with my interests.
  6. What do you value most in a friendship?
    Having someone be there for you no matter what is something I consider valuable.  I know that life makes everyone busy and realistically friends can’t be with each other all the time.  Knowing that if I needed someone to talk to, that they are just a phone call away, is reassuring.
  7. What is your favorite feature about yourself?
    My eyes.  I would actually get made fun of as a kid because I had such big eyes.  I’ve learned to love them.
  8. What’s your favorite color?
    Purple.
  9. What would you be your dream vacation?
    Somewhere tropical and family friendly.  The kids would be getting along, tantrums would be at a minimum and the weather would be perfect.   Oh what a dream!
  10. What is your favorite blog post you’ve written?
    It would be “How Becoming a Mama has made me feel beautiful” mainly because I wrote about something that made me feel uncomfortable about myself that I’m trying to embrace.
  11. What is your most treasured memory?
    I think the one that stands out right now is when W first recognized me.  He looked at me and I could see that something clicked in his mind.  We were looking at each other directly and a huge gummy grin appeared across his face.  It took every ounce of me not to cry since I didn’t want him to think I was sad!

Sarah’s questions:

1. What inspired you to start your blog?
I was experiencing a low point with battling PPD and felt alone.  My doctor has repeatedly told me that PPD is more common than most people think and often women don’t know how to reach out and feel just as alone.  I thought starting a blog that often discusses it would not only help me deal with it but reach out to other women experiencing it so they wouldn’t feel alone.

2. What’s your favorite part of motherhood?
One of my favorite parts is watching my kids conquer something they’ve had difficulty mastering.  The look on their faces alone makes me want to cry with happiness.

3. What’s your favorite food?
Almost any pasta dish.  It’s like a comfort food to me and I’m extremely picky about how pasta is cooked.

4. If there was a movie made about you who would play your role?
Oh man, this is hard, maybe which ever starlet is popular at the time?  I really can’t think of someone at the top of my head.

5. What’s your biggest pet peeve?
Gum smacking, especially if someone is talking to you and smacking their gum.

6. What do you aspire to do when you “grow up”?
Something involved with helping people.  I

7. What type of novels do you like to read?
A variety of things from historic to fiction.  I don’t have a specific genre that I like.

8. Who was your favorite teacher or professor and why?
My favorite teacher was my art teacher in high school.  She opened my eyes to art and being more confident in myself.  I was so shy and timid during high school and she helped me find my own art style and be proud of it.

9. How do you cheer yourself up after an especially stressful day?
I grab myself a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds.  There’s something so comforting about it…I think because it’s ice cream.  Who doesn’t love ice cream?

10. What’s the one thing you never expected, but has happened in motherhood?
That I would find such strength and beauty in myself.  I always expected motherhood to just center around kids and helping them grow.  I never realized that it would help me grow as an individual as well.

11. What’s your favorite movie and why?
I don’t have a favorite movie.  I love the Harry Potter series, the majority of the Star Wars series, and any Hayao Miyazaki film too.



I would like to nominate:

Jennifer of mymamaproject

Karran of themamaedits

Danielle of danioverthepond

My questions for you are:

  1. What inspired you to start blogging?
  2. What is one piece of advice that has stuck with you?
  3. What is your most memorable trip?
  4. What does your perfect day consist of?
  5. If you could trade places with someone for one day, who would it be and why?
  6. What is one of your favorite childhood memories?
  7. If you could relive one day, exactly as it was, what day would you want to relive?
  8. If you could have a all-paid-for shopping spree at one store, what store would it be?
  9. What is one mom-related item you can’t live without?
  10. What is one funny mom-related moment that has happened to you?
  11. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
  12. What is one piece of advice you would pass on to a first time mama?

Looking forward to reading everyone’s responses!

signed, dee

Mighty Mamas – Week 1

Image from littleandmighty.com
Image from littleandmighty.com
One of the not so fun things about parenthood is trying to figure out how to handle your little one's meltdowns, tantrums, and big emotions.
One of the not so fun things about parenthood is trying to figure out how to handle your little one’s meltdowns, tantrums, and big emotions.

Today is the kick off of the Mighty Mama series with Little & Mighty.

This week we were asked: “How do you stay centered and calm when your kids are having meltdowns, tantrums or big emotions?”

This is especially tough for me at the moment since I’ve only recently entered the realm of meltdowns and tantrums with O.  I acknowledge that he his having whatever emotion and take a deep breath (i.e. “I know you’re angry…” or “I know you’re sad…”).  I try my best to work through the emotion with him.  For me, i want him to understand that it’s okay to be mad, angry, or frustrated but that there are different ways to communicate each emotion without screaming like there’s no tomorrow in the cereal aisle.  Being able to talk it through actually manages to keep me calm during the whole process.

It is INDEED a process.  In all honesty, this isn’t a full proof system.  I have moments where I’m struggle with keeping it cool.  That’s where the “mom look” comes in.  You know, that stern look you give that means “Stop it right now.  I mean business!”  More often than not, it works and that in itself makes O check himself.  Sometimes I even get a “I sowwie mama.”

How do you keep your cool during those moments?

Be sure to check our what the other Mighty Mamas have to say on the Little & Mighty blog.

signed, dee

Let Me Take A Mama Moment.

Sometimes, motherhood makes you laugh...at yourself.
Sometimes, motherhood makes you laugh…at yourself.

Let me take a Mama moment…to laugh at myself.  I got inspired by Milla’s post to share some of my not so glamorous and funny Mama moments. I’m sure there are more but these were the ones that came to mind:

  1. O was having a hard time adjusting to W.  I’m sure he was thinking, who is this alien looking thing that just appeared out of no where and when is he going to leave?  It was the first time I braved taking both boys out to run errands.  We were in one of the grocery aisles, O in the shopping cart, and I was wearing W.  O decided that he wanted to kiss W and kept insisting that he do it THAT MOMENT.  I quickly let him and something about watching how carefully he kissed his brother’s forehead caused a lump in my throat.  I started bawling out of happiness in the middle of the aisle.  O was confused, W sound asleep, and I’m sure the elderly gentleman nearby was equally confused.  I spent the rest of the grocery trip trying to hold it together and not cry.
  2. We were almost out of baby wipes so I quickly got myself and the boys dressed to make a Target run.  I realized that O’s shirt was on inside out when we were in the parking lot but shrugged it off.  We quickly grabbed what we needed (and probably things we didn’t need), paid, I grabbed some Starbucks, and headed back to the car.  O had been pointing at something while we were going around Target but I was too focused on making sure we had everything we needed.  Once again as we were nearing the car he was pointing and I realized it was at me.  I looked down and realized the cardigan I threw on had W’s bibs all over it.  The cardigan I grabbed from from a pile of clothes to be folded and due to the material the velcro on the bibs stuck to it.  I probably looked like a walking bib ad at the store.
  3. If you follow me on Instagram I’m sure you’ve seen me post about how much O loves The Lion Guard. He loves it so much that I relented to downloading the soundtrack.  It’s pretty much the only thing we listen to when we’re in the car.  The songs are pretty catchy and I’ve memorized the majority of them. It was a day where it was just O and me and we were in the Starbucks drive-thru.  Of course, we were listening to The Lion Guard soundtrack.  I had just ordered and pulled up to the pick up area.  For whatever reason the barista was busy and didn’t open the window to accept my payment just yet.  O was not loving the fact that I was singing along to the songs.  Of course, being the great Mama I am, I decided to sing even louder and just put on a show.  Needless to say, during this whole “show,” the barista opened the window and was chuckling to mine and (mostly) O’s dismay.
  4. My husband just went back to work after taking leave when W was born.  I was trying to be helpful and make his coffee to take with him.  It was after a night of little to no sleep and I had grabbed the creamer from the fridge.  O had just woken up and was asking for cereal.  I grabbed his bowl and Cheerios, poured creamer into his bowl, sleepily handed it to him, and proceeded to pour the Cheerios into my husband’s coffee.  I only realized what I did after I put the Cheerios into the fridge and the creamer in the cupboard.
  5. O was learning to use the toilet and we started him out by having him go pee before his bath.  Well, at this point O has his clothes already off as he would go pee and then get into the tub.  We were over at a friend’s house and I had asked him to use the bathroom before we left.  I was trying to make sure I had gathered all of our things and didn’t realize that he had proceeded to take off his clothing because duh, that’s how he was use to using the bathroom at that time.  Of course my friend was confused. I quickly had to explain why as I was trying to get O back into his clothes.

I think I need to do this more often, it was nice to look back and laugh at these. I might have been cringing (or crying) about it when these moments actually happened but I can definitely see it as just a few moments out of the many happier ones. What are some of your funnier/not-so-glamourous Mama moments?

signed, dee

These Mighty Mamas.

Image from littleandmighty.com
Image from littleandmighty.com

“Welcome to Mighty Mamas, an ongoing series where mamas share their candid and raw thoughts on motherhood. Our intention is to create a supportive forum for sharing without judgment. Mamas are so mighty and we are using that strength to build a powerful group of wonderful women who believe in motherhood.”

I’m excited to be a part of this next series of Mighty Mamas!  Head on over to the Little & Mighty blog to read more about myself and the 9 other Mamas in the series.  While you’re there, check out the Little & Mighty apparel too!

signed, dee